I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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