Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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