I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
