If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
