I cockslap morals
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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