Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
