so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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