Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
