So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize