Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
