Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize