Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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