sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
