You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
