I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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