it was like eating out sand paper
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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