Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
