Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
