i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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