Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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