Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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