The maid of honor just puked.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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