He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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