You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
