i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
