I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
