Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize