I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
