I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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