I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
