out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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