Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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