i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
