..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
