Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
