This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize