She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
