You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
