the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
