You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
