i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
