you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
