She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
