Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
