i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My penis needs a shock collar
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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