Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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