He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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