we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
