I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
