You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize