My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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