he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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