Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
