Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You have to summon your inner elephant
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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