Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize