similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
