Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
