why didn't you poke me back
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Randomize