All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
