nut hugger
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm going to jail i love you
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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