I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
