Already got asked if we're dating
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
