I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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