he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
